The energy of strained relationships
Last year, I mentioned the need to learn to navigate our way into the unknown by being in The Now and asking simple questions like “is this right for me?”, “does this make me feel good?” in order to pick our way into an uncertain future.
Now, as I look around, I see other complications surfacing in families and relationships. The main problem is not simply the division caused by differing opinions. No; it’s something far more visceral. There appears to be a division of frequency that was perhaps brewing for a long time but has become so apparent now that it’s having a physical effect in some people.
As humans, our normal function involves subtle electrical frequencies — the brain, the nervous system, the organs that function at optimal frequencies — all without us being aware. So when feelings of something not feeling right reach our conscious mind, something’s been awry in the background for quite some time but we didn’t give it our attention. This happens all too often in families and relationships, but because it can take a long time to become conscious, we don’t often see what is in plain sight.
By the time a family member is suffering, having sleep problems, persistent tiredness, pain, a lack of stamina, weight gain, it might be evident to the outsider that something is wrong within the family dynamic, but it’s not so obvious to those involved. Self help might mean trying various supplements, but those have little to no effect in such circumstances. Seeking the help of some sort of therapist seems like a good idea, but that only helps a little. No, we have to look at the whole family relationship to evaluate the current dynamic and observe the imbalance of energies that are rocking the boat.
When a family member or partner is addicted to negative thinking that continues day after day, what do you think happens over time? The negativity isn’t contained in the mind of that person; it fills their aura, and when it becomes uncomfortable, they offload it onto other family members in a repeating pattern that enables their own behaviour to remain unchecked, without them taking responsibility. Whether conscious or subconscious, this pattern of behaviour becomes a habit that acts like reeds, wrapping around the legs of the family as they swim in the turbulent waters of life; no matter how hard the family swims, they find it hard to reach the shore and climb onto dry land; they may tread water for years.
When we look at the demeanour of someone who finds comfort within their self-perpetuated negativity, we may see a furrowed brow, eyes that avert your gaze and quiet speech, as they are often very shy and don’t like anyone looking in. Sometimes, they antagonise others as they feel better when someone else feels bad. These people can play out this role within the family for many years without anyone pulling them up on their behaviour, trapped in the well of their own negativity for so long that they don’t see a problem. All the while, they remain unaware of the undertow they create for others. Now add to this the strain and uncertainty of our current times; this is why more health issues are emerging that have a stressed family dynamic. There’s no more ignoring what’s happening, something has to be done if the unit is to remain intact.
Change begins when a family member seeks help for what seems like random health issues. That need for change is the first step in taking responsibility, and creates a stepping stone for the others to follow. From that stepping stone, a new perspective comes into view, along with an opportunity for the family to heal, one small step at a time.
The point I’m endeavouring to make here is that the person who’s enmeshed in the negative thinking may or may not be aware of their plight, and may or may not want to change the situation, but without a doubt, the effect upon the family is immense. Ultimately, it’s the strength of the family bonds that will dictate the outcome, and in these difficult times, it’s really important to dig deep and question ones’ own investment in those bonds before resorting to drastic measures that may not be easily undone.
Image by Robindo from Pixabay.
